Last week, I finished Caitlin Moran's "How to Be a Woman" and over the past week or two I've started reading Pride and Prejudice.
"How to be a Woman" was the start of my feminist thinking, but don't get me wrong here, I am far from one of those hard-core, bra-burning feminists who hate all men.
So to cut to the chase, yes, I would call myself a feminist, because I believe in women's rights.
Caitlin Moran taught me a lot about feminism, she's hilarious but her book also has a serious side. I'd recommend it to anyone, male or female.
I also watched a documentary called "Teens and Tiaras" and a few episodes from the series "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding", and it's got me thinking about the female role in today's society.
"My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" was simply shocking to watch. I've seen this before but upon watching it again I found that I was more shocked the second time around, because when I watched it the first time around I was more amazed at the ridiculously large dresses.
Second time around, I realised that Travelling women are not allowed to have any ambition in life.
Their purpose is to marry, have babies and clean. That's it. That's why their weddings are so big and crazy, because it's the highlight of their lives and they want to feel like a princess for the day. Yes, your wedding day is supposed to be the best day or your life but it shouldn't be your biggest ambition. Travelling women are not equal to men at all; I know this is their tradition but I can't help but think the travelling community are a tad behind the times... I mean, surely a woman should be allowed to get a part time job if she wants to, and she should be allowed to finish her education and marry when she finds the right man, but the travelling community seems to frown upon that, they expect females to marry young and once they are married, wait around for husbands and children for the rest of the their lives. I'm sorry, but that is no way to live life. Even young ladies of age 12 are expected to leave school to help their mothers cook and clean and look after younger siblings. It's impossible for them to contribute to their own communities. I could never live like this, but then again, I was brought up in a society which is more open to ladies being mothers and employees simultaneously. Oh, and another thing, when young people within the travelling community are courting, they carry out a ritual called 'grabbing'. This is when young males use violence against females (who are potential partners) to kiss them. The females are usually dragged or lifted to a suitable place and forced to kiss the males. Personally, I find this a bit unnecessary. If a stranger forced me away from friends and family and used physical violence against me, I'd be horrified. That's no way to start a healthy relationship in my eyes, and it's extremely sexist.
The last piece of media I was point out is "Teens and Tiaras". I watched this on Netflix so I'm not sure if this was a recent documentary or not, but it was certainly interesting. It highlighted how a few decades ago that balls used to be held for young ladies and gentlemen so that they could court.
The documentary was following a modern group of girls learning the rules and regulations of the ball. They had to learn how to courtesy properly, how to write a letter, how to lay out a dinner table, how to place guests at a dinner party, how to dress and how to walk. The ladies were expected to be perfect, well-mannered and not unruly. See, these are all very female things to be taught. Why don't the men learn to lay out a dinner table? Pfft. Also, only the female side of the story was documented, which makes me think that the male's preparation for the event was insignificant.
So far in "Pride and Prejudice" all the characters have discussed is marriage. The first line in the book, in fact, is "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife" (thanks to my boyfriend for pointing out the significance of that line). Now, I don't mind a book about romance and love sometimes, but from what I gather the entire theme is based upon the ladies in the book finding suitable gentlemen to marry. It seems like the purpose of a woman is to marry and have children. All of the women are extremely bitchy too. Of course, it's relevant to what that period of time was really like, but I'm just not finding the book interesting at all... Then again, I haven't actually finished the book yet but I'm determined to give it a chance. I'm on 23% on my Kindle now. After all, it is a classic (shocking I haven't actually read it before now, I know). I like the language used but the theme for me is a bit repetitive and... well... sexist. The first fifth of the book is certainly about gossipping and scheming women and about men courting women. This book has also made me realise how much I dislike high society in general, but again, I will carry on reading until I finish and I'll post my final opinion later.
It's weird because when I was younger, between the ages of 4-13, I wanted to feel like a princess too. All of my dress-up outfits were Disney Princess costumes. I had an ironing board, a baby doll, a cooker, a dolls house and a vacuum cleaner to play with. My sister and I used to dress up our Barbies and make them have weddings.
From a young age children are given very sexist toys to play with and with that they grow up with accepting sexism. It's not blatant sexism, but it is obvious now that I look back on it. Why wasn't I given more jigsaw puzzles and cool bicycles and more Pokemon cards instead? My sister and I also used to make mud pies and tents and caves and play down in the river, so I think I would've been quite happy to receive toys which were thought of as more male-orientated. Of course, my parents had no idea what they were doing when they bought me the toys, because it was what I asked for, what I seen on the TV and what my friends were playing with, but I would much rather have played with more gender neutral toys.
My final point is about the lack of females in my profession at the moment. In my Computer Science class of 200(ish) students, only about 10% of them are female. And you know what? I like it that way. Not to seem selfish, but I like the fact that females are extremely sought out in the IT business at the moment, because it's going to be a bit easier for me to find a job when I graduate. At the same time, it is a bit sad that there aren't more females. It's a male-dominated subject because most people think that computing is not for girls.
The same goes for other subjects too - Psychology is female-dominated, so is nursing, midwifery and Art related courses. Sport related courses are usually male-dominated, as well as Engineering courses. Why is it that certain subjects are more popular with one gender than others? My point is that it is not just females that are expected to behave in a certain way, it's males too. I'm not trying to backtrack on what I just said, but I'm trying to give each angle of the argument, to make it fair. Sometimes males receive as much sexism as females. For example, I am staying with my boyfriend in Cambridge at the moment, and he was telling about the different colleges in the university. He said that some colleges used to be male only and some female only, but they changed the male colleges into mixed colleges because male colleges were considered sexist. How is it ok to have female colleges but not male colleges? That's just as bad!
Also, in work, one of my managers organised a charity walk to raise money for a breast cancer charity. She only allowed females to participate in the fundraising walk. How is that not sexist? For a start, men can have breast cancer too. Secondly, what if someone's wife or mother or daughter had breast cancer and he wanted to participate?
My conclusion? This world is still a little bit mixed up, to be honest. Maybe in a few decades we'll have sorted it out, who knows. Until then, chin up fellow Sexism-Haters!
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